Learning to speak up saved me. And it saved us. 🥹

Slowly, with practice, trepidation, and shaky nerves, I practiced saying the things I knew I needed to.

Even if it was scary.
Even if he might leave me for it.
Even if I worried I was too much.
Even if past partners HAD told me it was too much.
Even if I knew he wouldn’t receive it well.
Even if it rocked the boat.

I said it all. As often as I could bare it.

And slowly, he came to realize that he could depend on me to SPEAK UP. That I’d always let him know what I needed, what I wanted, what upset me, what was missing, what didn’t work for me and what did.

And then there was no more guessing.
No more trying to solve each other like puzzles.
No more mysteries or misinterpretations or disconnection.

There was trust.
Safety.
A deeper KNOWING.

We aren’t doomed by our anxious thoughts or behaviors in love. We can address them; look them in the eye and say: “That’s not how I want to do it anymore.” 💪🏻